03-10-2024
I dropped one of my worst reads “Autobiography of a yogi” book ( personal opinion – might change ) today. I couldn’t connect with someone transforming the atom to create food, creating perfume in thin air, hanging in air, being at two places at a single time and living for thousands of years. All bullshit.
I had got my hands on these two books “Can’t hurt me” & “Never Finished” by David Goggins yesterday.
So, i started reading the first one “Can’t hurt me”.
As i started reading i could connect with David, i could connect with his child abuse and other experiences. The book had 10 challenges and i am determined to complete all 10. I haven’t even read 9 of them but as i do i will complete it. I hope my writings serves as an inspiration for whomever reads it. Or atleast i gain some clarity and move my life towards a more better and intellectual direction.
CHALLENGE #1
Whatver i wrote below only tells the one sided story i want to tell. It’s not black and white. I don’t want any of the readers to make any assumptions about the people involved below. Focus on the experiences not on the people.
As per the challenge I am going to talk about all the bad experiences that shaped me. This is the only place where i can be vulnerable, i know whatever i type, my website is going to listen to me patiently. As per the challenge let me talk about the things. I personally don’t like talking about them but let’s begin.
Both of my parents were government contract teachers. Almost all of my life until recent i wasn’t comfortable telling that to people. I studied in two of the best schools of towns where students from much better families came. I felt inferior. So, i chose lying about my parents occupation wherever possible. I had humble beginnings. I didn’t get fed by a silver spoon. I lived all my life in a rented house, never got the chance to feel what does it like to be in one’s own house away from any landlord and landlady. We got all the basic necessities but luxury was out of question.
We as a family have never gone in a restaurant or a movie hall. My parents had occassional fights when i was small, but whenever it happend i feared the worst. My parents especially my father has a quick temper problem. We three kids always got beatings and scoldings for every small mistakes. I was the eldest son so i got the maximum. I was once whipped by my father’s belt for ruining my father’s smartphone J7 Prime. Once for some reason my father beat me enough that i bled a few drops of blood via my nose. Countless wipers and sticks were broken on me.
I was even abused every now and then. It felt like whenver i was called by my father it was accompanied with some abusive words. I was asked to leave my parents house 3 times. Two times by my father and once by my mother. I was called back twice by my mother and once by my father. I was always an average kid in school. I was ( and am ) always the youngest kid of my class. I was also the weakest so, i was bullied by almost everyone. Then i got into the habit of watching Porn and Masturbation in class 9th.
It was a way to escape the world and i loved that. It took 5+ years to get out. I never told about my abuser to my parents because i simply didn’t trust them. I always had fights with my siblings – they two vs me alone. A few of the fights were violent too. I was once caught by my elder sister and my younger brother was hitting me with sticks. My parents were not at home and i had nowhere to escape. There i had to hit my elder sister with a stainless steel peeler. She still has a mark. After that the same night my sister and my mother beat the ass off me.
Once my sister and brother tore off my head which lead to getting stitches in my head in a hospital. In one summer season I was eating mangoes, my younger brother Navpreet was constantly bringing his hand in front of my mouth and whenever my hands were touching his hand he was hitting me. I got irritated and hit him with a knife that was in my hand. He still has a mark. These are just a few fights that i remember but there are hundreds more. They aren’t this brutal but yes physical fights are fights.
I also faced severe depression for 2 years and it was at its peak in class 11th ( study pressure ). Again i couldn’t tell my parents about my depression, anxiety, negative and suicidal thoughts. Getting lost into the world of porn, masturbation, webseries, movies, youtube videos, reels, mobile games, social media was a much better alternative. I was also a thin, brown, introvert, ugly kid. This made me underconfident. Excluding my grandmother I also almost never got the affection & love that i deserved from my parents.
#bandhand #canthurtme
CHALLENGE #2
We only have one mirror in my house so, i made the accountability mirror on a A4 size paper and stick it on my wall from where i can see and stare at it everyday.
#canthurtme #accountabilitymirror
CHALLENGE #3
There are things like Meditation and reading books – i like these at some extent. So, I needn’t to mention them.
There are also things which i don’t like doing – like taking bath, washing dishes, washing my clothes, making my bed, making coffee but they aren’t that important for me.
Cool so, i have to write down all the things that I don’t like to do or that make me uncomfortable. Especially those things that I know are good for me. The list includes Learning Copywriting, Building my Copywriting Portfolio, Running, doing Pushups, Learning Mandarin and recording myself regularly speaking Mandarin. My challenge will be to make these things a daily habit.
#discomfortzone #pathofmostresistance #canthurtme #impossibletask
CHALLENGE #4
This challenge asks me about my opponent. For me I am my biggest opponent. The challenge tells me to work hard and do whatever it takes to take your opponents soul. I am taking my soul by typing this at 12 :59 AM much after my sleeping time. I also have my running scheduled a few hours from now. I have to make myself watch me achieve what i could never have done myself. It means it’s me vs me.
CHALLENGE #5
In this challenge i need to visualize myself acheiving my goals and also visualizing the work i need to put through. My biggest goal is to acheive financial freedom and then travel. For that i need to learn Copywriting and build a great copywriting portfolio. I need to visualize that. I used to do it after being inspired from the book “Think and Grow Rich” but i didn’t continue it. I am now again continuing it from today itself everyday after my daily meditation.
#armoredmind
CHALLENGE #6
This is byfar my best challenge that i am going to complete. It tells to write all the big and small wins i had until now.
- I learnt cycle in class 9th after fearing it for a decade. I went aganist the odds and rode the cycle for hours and hours. I learnt it by myself. It felt awesome balancing myself on 2 wheels.
- I learnt speaking enough english to communicate with people from other parts of the country and even from other countries. I recorded myself explaning my day in english for 6 months straight and 3 years in total. I perserved to learn it. Today i am the only fluent English speaker in my family.
- I left watching porn that kept me in it’s grip for 5 + years and fucked up my mental health. I also left masturbating daily to suck up all my energy. Read here
- From not being able to do 2-3 pushups I can now do 30 pushups. I feel much stronger now. I saw improvemnet in the chest area and in my biceps.
- From not being able to run even for a couple of hundred metres i ran 8 Km+ a few days ago. I feel much fitter.
- From running away from books. I now love reading books. I consistently read books and have read 200 + pages in a day in my peak time. In other words. I ate books at the breakfast.
- From completing an entire webseries in a day in class 11th, every day to not even knowing when i watched any webseries the last time. I have came a long way.
- From feeling overwhelmed on Linkedin to acquiring 946 followers and getting multiple oppurtunities from Linkedin.
- From being overwhelmed seeing a website to creating and managing multiple wordpress websites. That too all learning by self. Even creating a website within minutes using a jio phone.
CHALLENGE #7
This challenge is all about removing the governor from the brain. It’s about getting to the point where I am soo tired that my mind is begging me to stop ad then pushing just a little bit. I got it.
I am doing two things.
I just increased my pushups from 25 to 30. From today each day i do pushups i will increase just one pushup. Just one. Means my next set will be of 31 pushups and it will go on increasing. My target is to hit the three digit mark by this 2024 ( 83 days remaining ).
Secondly, I will push a little bit every time and increase my running speed. The length is fixed to 2 Kms. I just need to cover the distance faster. Now-a-days i run my version of marthons and i am not used to run at high speed. A couple of months earlier when i used to do it, it took me around 15 minutes to cover 2 Kms. My aim is to do that under 7 minutes. I will measure the timing and will keep reducing it. I understand that it might be a joke even to try but again I am Navneet Kumar. I wasn’t built for mediocrity.
CHALLENGE #8
Gotcha. First of all here are all of my laptop and mobile phone stats for reference. I haven’t taken the 3 week path to note everything as it would take infinity.
So, what i analyzed in these stats are that i am using too much Youtube on my laptop and that has almost no value. I am using an average of 31 mins of youtube. On my phone i am using way toomuch facebook. And since i have diagnosed the issue, i am cutting my time on Youtube and Facebook. I am willing to give that time to X as i started creating content from today itself. I will give that time to write on my website and also to read other great blogs.
#canthurtme #talentnotrequired
CHALLENGE #9
Gotcha. I have to keep putting obstacles infront of me. From challenge #9 i have got two more obstacles, I will not use facebook and youtube until evening. I already don’t listen to music until evening ( a lil bit is acceptable )
Here is the time blocking i did on my Google Calendar. I give myself a bit of relaxation on weekends. But more or less i will be following it.
CHALLENGE #10
I used ChatGPT to take out all the questions which this challenge wants me to answer.
Here are they
What are your most recent and heart-wrenching failures?
There are many failures the most recent one i would say is not getting a job and because of that me not able to travel.
What good things (everything that went well) happened during these failures?
I will say maybe i gained a bit of experience.
How did you handle your failures?
Fuck that! I just moved ahead.
How did the failures affect your life and relationships? How so?
It was as fucked up as it is now. My father taunts me all day long cause i am not earning as i said that i will. He also criticizes me all day. I can’t buy books – i can’t buy courses.
How did you think throughout the preparation for, and during, the execution of your failure?
I took the preparation lightly. I didn’t work hard enough to create those spec ads. Hence not able to create my copywriting portfolio. I also didn’t practice copywriting much.
What was your mindset at each step of your failure?
It just went by. I passed the time, postponing it whereever possible. I don’t know what mindset here means.
What things can you fix from the failures? (Be brutally honest.)
I think, i can increase my time learning Copywriting and creating spec ads daily.
After studying your failures, when can you schedule another attempt?
Great question. I think i can do it by 31st December 2023 ( today is 12th October 2024 )
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Okay. So here i complete all the 10 challenges of the book “Can’t Hurt Me” by “David Goggins”.
Also this book has become my 4th life changing book.