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05-05-2024
After I completed the 21-day no fap challenge, I was assured that I have left this bad habit of masturbating far ahead but recent events have again brought me to the ground.
I masturbated yesterday and as well as today thus draining myself out of energy and wasting my precious time. I just started gently because it was scratching a bit but then I lost it. After the challenge I have masturbated 4 times. I first tried to console myself by saying that I am not addicted as I am not doing it regularly and I can afford doing it sometimes but today I did it 2 days in a row. I know that something is wrong with me.
I can’t let this come again in my life. I can’t let this destroy my life Just because it gives me some pleasure for a few seconds. I want to divert my energy in doing productive work and reading books. I believe that they deserve my time & attention.
So for all these reasons I am again starting the 2.0 version of the challenge from tomorrow. Like the last time I am determined to complete it again this time. If I miss it I will re-start and will keep doing it. Either I succeed or I perish. There is no going back.
06-05-2024
Hey Navneet. Today was the first day of my No-fap challenge 2.0 and it went off pretty smoothly. There was a time in the afternoon when I was getting the urge to download some 18+ movies but I didn’t do it. I instead downloaded an inspirational one. Today’s day was a bit easy also because I was at my cousin’s house and masturbating becomes a bit difficult when you change places. Well whatever the reason, maybe I have completed the first day. I am pretty excited for this challenge and am dedicated to complete it too.
07-05-2024
Today was meant to be the second day of my challenge, but I lost it. I was at Physics Wallah Pathshala at Motihari, where my cousin brother took me to meet Manish Raj Sir, The meeting was getting boring, and I was getting an urge to pee, I found the toilet there and I Masturbated. I don’t know why I felt like that but I was feeling like I was getting a new experience so fuck the challenge and just do it. It’s the third time I’ve masturbated in the last 4 days. I am again going in the death valley, and I know that there is no coming back if I get into it.
I am also feeling very guilty, I am feeling weak, my legs are a bit trembling and I am feeling confused. I am sorry Navneet. I promise I will complete the challenge this time. đ„șAs promised, I am resetting the challenge and it will again re-start from tomorrow. I hope and believe that I will complete it this time.
08-05-2024
Today was the first day of my challenge and I am glad to say that I successfully completed it. It was a bit easy for today as I was to come to my Village from my cousin’s house and we were quite busy from morning packing. I am determined to complete the challenge this time and since I promised it to myself, I will do it. Whatever happens, I don’t want to go too easy; I want some adventure. Let’s see what happens.
09-05-2024
Second day of the challenge and it was as smooth as butter. Not even a thought of consuming porn content or of masturbating.
I think that whenever I am accountable I can better control my thoughts and actions.
Whatsoever I am done
10-05-2024
Today was the third day of the challenge and needless to say, it went as smoothly as butter. When I slept, I felt like I had nightfall but that wasn’t the case. I am glad that I have completed today’s day without masturbating.
Though I am not feeling any significant change in myself, I will still keep going.
I believe that I will again complete this challenge. 18 days more to go.
UPDATE: I masturbated after writing the above experience. I failed again. I again lost the promise I made with myself. The challenge will again start from tomorrow.
11-05-2024
Aha, so here I am after failing the challenge two times, trying for the third. Being the first day of the challenge, it was smooth as butter and too easy. I didn’t get any thoughts of masturbating or watching porn. 20 days more to go. Do it, boy.
12-05-2024
second day of the challenge, and it went off pretty easily. I was travelling all day from Sagauli to Bettiah to Motihari, so I didn’t get enough time to think about these things. I am well off from this addiction, as far as I know. I am again on track. I hope that I complete this challenge in time. 19 days more to go.
13-05-2024
3rd day of the challenge, and I am glad that I completed it. Earlier this morning, I was getting some arousals, but after that, everything was good. Once I am busy or with people, I don’t get thoughts of watching porn or masturbating. I saw a half-sex scene in the webseries Dark. 18 days more to go. Do it, boy.
14-05-2024
Another very easy day with no bad thoughts. I was at my cousin’s house and also met one of my aunts (Fua)) and I loved meeting her. Whenever I am social, I donât get any bad thoughts. I will have to take care of myself when I go to my village, as I lose my will there only. Letâs see. 17 days more to go. Letâs do it.
15-05-2024
Today was the 5th day of the challenge, and it wasn’t that smooth. I had only a few hours of WiFi left, so I downloaded a lot of movies & web series. Needless to say, a few of them were 18+. I was getting some urge to masturbate today, and I was getting aroused, but I still controlled myself. I knew that if I started, then I would not be able to stop myself. It was difficult, though. I was constantly thinking about going to the bathroom and masturbating. Whatever, I completed today’s day also. 16 days more to go.
16-05-2024
I lost it again. Yesterday I downloaded a lot of porn movies and webseries, and since they were so easy to find, I watched them and couldn’t help myself. I am going to delete all the further porn movies and webseries. I have no idea where I am going again. It will be bullshit if I say that I am feeling guilty. I was tempted earlier today to drop the challenge, just like the 21-day no-liar challenge, but âThey donât know me, son.â. I will again reset and continue the challenge. I will do whatever it takes to complete the challenge. This is the third time I failed, trying for the fourth time.
17-05-2024
I lost it again. I am literally in the dip. I can help but watch porn & masturbate. I will be pausing this challenge for now before I get some inspiration. My life was going good and I was getting control over myself but no self control comes when you get the urge to engage in these sexual activities. I don’t know where I am going. I failed it for the 4th time in this challenge. I don’t have energy to try for the 5th time. My lust is now controlling me. I can’t just continue the challenge if I treat it like âmy dairyâ and cry everyday after breaking the challenge.
I need to reassess myself and I gotta have some self-talk. Will update by tomorrow. Bye
18-05-2024
Masturbated again.
Note: I am pausing the challenge for now, will make a comeback after getting some cartilage in my mind.
19-05-2024
Okay. I am not allowed to do this but since I didnât masturbate today and have gained some courage so I will restart the challenge once again. If this time I masturbate then I will close the document forever for good. I have lost the challenge 5 times in this doc and I am trying for the 6th time. Cheers to my 1st day. 20 more days to go.
20-05-2024
2nd day of the challenge and it went off pretty easily. I am not in a mood to write more. Will meet tomorrow. 19 days to go.
21-05-2024
3rd day and won the day too. I am currently juggling with a lot of things, so I really canât think of masturbating. 18 days to go
22-05-2024
I lost it again this morning. I lost the challenge for the 6th time today and I am going to try for the 7th time. I am more persistent than this fucking challenge.
âPersistence is the only known antidote for failureâ – Napolean Hill
23-05-2024
1st day of the challenge and I am glad I completed it. Since I had masturbated twice yesterday so, I didnât get that urge to do it again. 20 days to go.
24-05-2024
I masturbated again. Not having a definite purpose in my life is hitting me hard. I have got no power to let the challenge continue. I am in the worst of the bad situation. When I got the urge to masturbate I was in my senses I know that I can’t do that but I still did it. I don’t have any self control. I am dying. I have already lost the challenge 7 times and now I will have to try for the 8th time.
25-05-2024
01st day and you know that I didn’t masturbate. Whenever I masturbate, the next 1-2 days go very smoothly. The real turbulence starts in 5-6 days. 20 days to go.
26-05-2024
2nd day and it too went off pretty easy. In the evening I was thinking about some imaginary girls ( wives ) and that was getting me some arousal. Other than that, all okay. 19 days more to go
Note: After writing about the experience I watched porn and masturbated again. I am clueless.
I have lost 8th time and it’s not about losing but it’s about losing the self control I thought that I had acquired. I am an insane mad boy. I will start for the 9th time tomorrow.
27-05-2024
I watched porn & masturbated again today. I am ashamed that everyday I have to tell people in public that I masturbated & watched porn. I have lost the 9th time. My energy that must be being used in some creative work is now going in watching porn & jerking. I am ashamed of myself. This disease is eating me from inside & out. How happy was I after completing the no-fap challenge 1.0. Ohhđ„șđ
28-05-2024
Today at midnight I was getting bitten by some mosquitoes and I was half asleep. I don’t know what came to mind, I woke up, watched hard porn & Masturbated.
29-05-2024
1st day completed, feeling good about myself. 20 days more to go.
30-05-2024
2nd day completed. I know I have to complete the challenge as my haemoglobin is at 9 points & I need at least 12 points to donate blood & I believe this act of mine has an impact on my health. To donate blood I must leave masturbation. Also, I will be at my maternal grandmother’s house for a few days so I have an upper hand. Well let the future decide that. 19 days more to go. Life is enjoy.
31-05-2024
Yesterday I wrote about having an upperhand in this challenge and that same upper hand worked against me today. I was guarding the litchi trees, when everyone went I masturabated. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to do it without watching porn but I still somehow did it. I also meditated earlier today. Fuck. I thought that I would have some self control but all in vain. I am done. I have no idea what to do.
01-06-2024
Needless to say, I completed today’s day. 20 days more to go
02-06-2024
Had a very bad nightfall at 3 am but it was easier for me to complete the challenge. 19 days more to go.
03-06-2024
I felt like masturbating when I was asleep but I am glad that masturbating here at my maternal grandmother’s hours is not that convenient so, I got over it. I am also off porn for these days, I know itâs dangerous. It increases the dopamine threshold and then I wonât feel the motivation & drive in the things I really want to do. 18 days more to go.
04-06-2024
Won the day but indeed it was difficult. I was getting urges to masturbate. Had it been convenient I might have done that also. Going to my village ( Chainpur ) can prove dangerous for me as I might again masturbate there. Letâs see 17 days more to go.
05-06-2024
I am clean until now. I am in my village ( Chainpur ) , so I am in a vulnerable state now. Whatever, I completed todayâs day. 16 days to go.
06-06-2024
I was afraid that if I come to Chainpur I might masturbate in solitude and the same would happen. I tried masturbating a few times, controlled most of them but the last one got me. I watched porn too. I can feel my head vibrating. I failed again. I failed for the 12th time. I will try for the 13th time.
07-06-2024
From Today morning only I was in a whole different mood, since I recorded a video confessing my mistakes; I felt relieved. The video thing worked so, I am going to record more videos, talking about my day in this 21-day No fap challenge 2.0.
08-06-2024
You guessed it right, I completed todayâs day with flying colours without any struggle. I am also starting my health transformation journey from tomorrow. I hope it helps me in this challenge.
09-06-2024
Won todayâs day also. I didnât get that urge today. The reason for it may be me giving priority to my health and being busy all day. Whatever is the reason I completed the 3rd day. 18 days more to go.
10-06-2024
4th day completed. 17 days to go.
11-06-2024
Now I believe that if a man has no sense of purpose he will deviate himself with cheap pleasure like Porn and Masturbation. Itâs not like I recently found my sense of purpose but I do think that when I am busy working on myself I donât even get a small urge to indulge in these activities. I am glad that I reached the 5th day after starting for the 13th time. Woo hoo. 16 days more to go.
12â06-2024
6th day completed. 15 days more to go.
13-06-2024
7th day completed. 14 days more to go.